John Eldridge says that a father has the power to either validate or invalidate a child by what he says or does to or with the child. I agree fully with that but I also feel that A child in return has some of the same power. We as men and fathers are forever in the search of the answer to our deepest question of if we have what it takes. We need that answer from our fathers and mentors. But I think we also search for that answer from our children.
I get that answer from Aaron when he called me up one day when I was in Walmart to let me know he passed a roofing qualification test.
I get that answer from Dylan when he wrote a note to me, several years ago, on the plane ride back from Texas where we went to Denas graduation in which he wrote that it was the best trip he had ever been on.
I get that answer when Dena tells me she loves me.
I get that answer from Corinne when she calls me Poppie
I get that answer from Chris when he called me up at 2am to let me know he helped save a mans life.
And while I have yet to get that answer from LiLi as it is taking some time for her to warm up to me. I wear a badge of sweat proudly tonight. As we were flying tonight from Shenyang to Guangzhou she finally fell asleep midway through the flight. Her little head finally coming to rest on my shoulder, not by choice as she would not do it awake, but I wasn't going to worry about symantics at the time. This was the first time I had really felt her against me. For two hours we sat there ike that. My arm completly numb but there was no way I was going to move. ANd as she woke up and moved away from me, there was a large spot of sweat/drool on my shoulder. This was my badge of honor that I longed for.
Rejection is hard especially when it comes from a child. But these little victories make the battle worth it. It gives one confidence to carry on to the one day that I will get that answer from her. The day is coming I know, God just wants me to be a little patient.
But until then.....I may never wash the shirt again.
Friday, May 30, 2008
Father's perspective part 2
Posted by Dylan and Mom Go Irish at 8:55 AM
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5 comments:
Oh Poppie, Do not be discouraged. In her world there was no one like you. How is she to know that there are men of love and integrity toward children. She has had women hold her and children to share with, but who was her father? Where was she to find a man of ultimate trust? But soon she will soften. She will see how your other children love and trust you. She will watch your place in the family and an understanding will happen and then a love will grow. She will choose you as you have chosen her. In many ways it will probably form a solid foundation for her path to christ as she compares the similarities between her two fathers. My heart is praying for her desire to know you and test you, for you will not fail her. I love her already. I can't work sometimes for looking at her picture. She will belong to us all soon and we will each have to be praying that she is just curious enough, brave enough to give us a chance. Father let us be what she needs, what all the kennedy's need. Soon my friends we will have you back among us and until then we are still with you.
My love to you all,
Lynn
Dad, I truely know that you will get that answer from LiLi when you least expect it. Look how long it took me to come back around, but oh my it was worth the wait. The closeness we now have, I could never have imagined at her age. She has never had the "father" around, and even if she had, she I'm sure will be like the rest of us Kennedy's and be stubborn to show it : ) She will love you to the depths that I do.
Time, brother ... time is all she'll need. When Li Li sees past your manly man exterior and into your heart the result will be inevitable. She'll love you like all people do who truly know you.
It's great to see that the Lord has given you this opportunity to bring someone new into your family and ours. It is great to see the Lord is already working even if it is as simple as her falling asleep on you. We know that you have a long long way to go in creating a closer bond with her but, always trust in the Lord, and allow Him to open the doors. Our prayers are with you.
Love
D&J Himes
i have no doubt lili will find her way to you
you are one of the most wise and tender men i have ever met
i am always amazed by you and your wonderful family what and ispiration you are to all of us
we pray for your safe return home and to wellspring we miss you all
paul and judy lackey
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