John Eldridge says that a father has the power to either validate or invalidate a child by what he says or does to or with the child. I agree fully with that but I also feel that A child in return has some of the same power. We as men and fathers are forever in the search of the answer to our deepest question of if we have what it takes. We need that answer from our fathers and mentors. But I think we also search for that answer from our children.
I get that answer from Aaron when he called me up one day when I was in Walmart to let me know he passed a roofing qualification test.
I get that answer from Dylan when he wrote a note to me, several years ago, on the plane ride back from Texas where we went to Denas graduation in which he wrote that it was the best trip he had ever been on.
I get that answer when Dena tells me she loves me.
I get that answer from Corinne when she calls me Poppie
I get that answer from Chris when he called me up at 2am to let me know he helped save a mans life.
And while I have yet to get that answer from LiLi as it is taking some time for her to warm up to me. I wear a badge of sweat proudly tonight. As we were flying tonight from Shenyang to Guangzhou she finally fell asleep midway through the flight. Her little head finally coming to rest on my shoulder, not by choice as she would not do it awake, but I wasn't going to worry about symantics at the time. This was the first time I had really felt her against me. For two hours we sat there ike that. My arm completly numb but there was no way I was going to move. ANd as she woke up and moved away from me, there was a large spot of sweat/drool on my shoulder. This was my badge of honor that I longed for.
Rejection is hard especially when it comes from a child. But these little victories make the battle worth it. It gives one confidence to carry on to the one day that I will get that answer from her. The day is coming I know, God just wants me to be a little patient.
But until then.....I may never wash the shirt again.
Friday, May 30, 2008
Father's perspective part 2
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Fatigue was good
I was beat this afternoon, so I went to sleep, which was an opportune time for LiLi to bond deeply with Dylan and Corinne. Apparently, orange soda was had by all, and Dylan reported much laughing by all, including a 'snort' by LiLi. Both Dylan and Corinne sported faces painted with makeup by LiLi. Lots of laughter and smiles. A great day, I'd say.
Fatigue was good
I was beat this afternoon, so I went to sleep, which was an opportune time for LiLi to bond deeply with Dylan and Corinne. Apparently, orange soda was had by all, and Dylan reported much laughing by all, including a 'snort' by LiLi. Both Dylan and Corinne sported faces painted with makeup by LiLi. Lots of laughter and smiles. A great day, I'd say.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
The Traffic Chain
Riding in a car in China is most interesting and we've come to some conclusions. If pedestrian, you're the lowest of travelers, and often are stuck in the middle of six lanes of traffic without a median to stand in. The object of motorized vehicles, it seems, is to ignore people. It's almost like a video game--see how many pedestrians you can go around. Next are the bicycles, then the three-wheels, then the cars and highest are the buses. Dean has observed that the street lines are there just to point the center of your car down. Dylan commented that he was enjoying the driving lessons....Driving main street Thomasville will be culture shock for us when we get back.
Monday, May 26, 2008
Gotcha Day
Quite the day today. We awoke at 4:30 this morning not being able to sleep. We prayed together and did everything we coul to pass the time away. At 8am we left for the bureau office to meet LiLi for the first time and do a bit of paperwork to apply for her passport. We got there before LiLi and went upstairs to a run down little conference room. As we stood there we saw LiLi go by with her nannie and then they returned and came in. It was so great to finally see her. And I wish I could tell you that it went wonderfully and she fell into our arms and she called us Baba and Mama and we started our life together at such a happy place.
Anything but. Throughout the process, she coward away from us and cried. She wanted nothing to do with us. And then after the paperwork she was pretty much forced onto the elevator with us and the door shut on her Nannies. We had to almost drag her to the van and then picked up sceaming and placed in the van. She cried for an hour straight back to the hotel. Then for another hour after that. Didn't look to good for a peaceful night.
Then she finally started to calm down. Through some toys and a digital camera in which she took almost a couple hundred pictures. She began to start feeling more comfortable with us and through a lot of trial and error we were ale to feed her at a restaurant. Corinne was wondeful with her. And a bonding betwen Renee and LiLi began as well as one ith Corinne.
Renee. gave her a bath and now as I write this, they are laying next to each other and LiLi is talking up a storm to her. God came through for us.
Maybe a tough day again tomorrow as we will see the Nannies once again to finish the paperwork.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Up for the 4:30 am feeding
4:30 am. Dean and I are wide awake in Shenyang, the capitol of the province of Liaoning. We wonder when LiLi will wake up for her last morning in the Children's Welfare Institute of Anshan City. We wonder what her little heart is feeling: sad, happy, scared?
I praise our Father in heaven that He is leading the way, preparing all our hearts for this new change for a lifetime. I am so grateful for His word, which constantly tells us of His people who are asked to step out without itinerary, seeing no further than this day's journey. (Yes, my sisters in Christ, the timing couldn't be better for our work in Experiencing God! It's alive and active in China too!)
What will LiLi be thinking on the drive from Anshan to Shenyang? This might very well be her first ride in a car. Will she like us? Will she embrace us, will she run and hide? Will she smile or cry? Will she see the great love that we have for her? I haven't imagined the scenario until now, as there are too many to imagine, and as I'm learning, God is at work--I need only to trust Him and follow His lead.
What a beautiful moment in the life of our family. It reminds me of last January when Dean, Dylan, Corinne and I spent the night in the foyer of Forysth waiting for Dena and Chris' baby to be born. New life! Can there be anything better? The Lord puts the lonely into families--can there be anything better? Adoption into His forever family--can there be anything better?
China is filled with many beautiful man-made places to visit, but the things of the heart, the God-made things, now these are the best.
A fathers perspective
It is 11:15 Sunday night. In less than 10 hours I will have another daughter to call mine. And like my two daughters before her, She will hold a place in my heart that only she can reach. (My sons each have their own place as well and I have a love for each of them that is unsurpassed. )
Dena was my first and forever will be my Daddy's little girl. Even now, she can make me cry at the drop of a hat. She does things for me that will remind me in an instant of why I love her. The times when she used to braid my hair, fall asleep on my lap. She has a diligence and love of work that equals mine. Plus the fact she kind of looks like me. She was my completed world when she was born
.....Then came Corinne and I thought that it would never get any better. I didn't deserve the two daughters I was given. Corinne was and is a shining light. Her Grandfather called her Miss Sunshine which really fits. One smile is all it takes from her and she can light up the world. To me, she was and is "My pretty girl" She is my resident artist, a girl who used to put SHMILY notes all over for me to find. She was the one who promised me at 4 she would never grow up....she lied about that one.
And now in a few hours, I will have LiLi take her own place in my heart. And like her two sisters, it will be a place that only she can reach. I have no idea what that place will be, only God and time does. I do know that she , like her sisters, will have me wrapped around her finger. A smile from a daughter is all it takes for a father. We are left utterly powerless in return.
LiLi will have that power. And if I know her sisters to any degree at all, They will both show her how to wield that power to her greatest advantage.
And I look forward to it...
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Yesterday
We had a busy day yesterday at the Square--which we couldn't see because the new Russian president was visiting. We got to hear the loud speakers of the Chinese police telling us what to do--rather creepy.
We walked through the Forbidden City, the special place for the Emperors. Red was their special color, as was the number 9. If a common person used either of these, he would be killed.
The architecture was amazing, and it was delightful being there with Dylan and Corinne. Corinne took many, many photographs. (There was an adventure with a memory card, which I'll let her tell you.) The Emperor's Garden was gorgeous, and the only place in the Forbidden City with trees.
Dean and I could hardly believe we were on the Great Wall--I never thought I would be in China, of all places! Dylan and Jake, a father very soon to a nine-month old, took the hard route. Corinne stayed with Deborah, Jake's mom, with whom she's enjoying a great relationship. Dean and I went the easy route. Um, there's no walking the Great Wall. It's all climbing. And if our route was easy, I can't imagine the hard route! (Note to Brent, Eric and Keaton--the Keens are the best shoe for the Great Wall!)
Then Peking Duck. That bird doesn't give up a lot of meat. Good, but by the end of this trip, I will be thinking of one of my daddy's steaks!
Friday, May 23, 2008
We're in Beijing!
Had a great trip (we ate noodles with chopsticks among other interesting things on the plane!) and we're in our ultra-European hotel in the middle of communist Beijing--how odd.
We had our first Chinese meal. There weren't numbers on the menus! So we had to point--a lot.
Dylan ordered fish and we all had a laugh when the waitress brought out a plastic bag and showed the fish--still flapping--to Dylan for his approval before cooking! Fresh fish, indeed. Corinne was not pleased. (A Starbucks is around the corner, however.)
After dinner, Dean and I ventured into this wonderful market, full of fresh vegetables (and more fish, less active than the one Dylan was shown) and fresh salads and teas. Abundant food.
We can't believe we are in Beijing and that soon we will meet LiLi. We've met many others from our adoption agency, several who are staying in this hotel. People from all over the US with interesting stories to tell. It is just amazing, this adventure.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Bittersweet Tears
Our hearts are saddened today. A long time ago, our family went to a Steven Curtis Chapman concert called Declaration. There we first heard of adoption with such great love, there our daughter Corinne declared, "I want a baby sister."
This morning I learned that the Chapman family experienced its greatest loss--that of their youngest daughter in a traffic accident.
This family has led so many to great joys and we leave today with them in our prayers.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Our Itinerary for bringing LiLi home
- Thurs., May 22 Depart for Beijing, Flt: UA 7817
Fri., May 23 Arrive in Beijing, Flt: UA 897
Sat., May 24 Beijing: Tiananmen Square, Forbidden City, Great Wall and a Beijing Duck Dinner
Sun., May 25 Church Service, Summer Palace, Evening Flight to Liaoning
Mon., May 26 Meet LiLi Joy Kennedy!!!!!!!!
Tues., May 27 Civil Affairs Appointment
May 28-29 Paperwork, Sightseeing and Shopping
Fri., May 30 Flight to Guangzhou
Sat., May 31 LiLi’s medical exam
Sun., June 1 Paperwork Party
Mon., June 2 Consulate Appointment 9am
Tues., June 3 Pick up LiLi’s Visa
Wed., June 4 Depart from Guangzhou, Depart from Beijing, Flt: UA850
Monday, May 19, 2008
Quote from Jim Elliot
He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.
(Mind-boggling in its simplicity, yet how hard to live!)
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Prince Caspian TONIGHT!
We've got our tickets for the 12:01 am showing of Prince Caspian tonight! It's a great family tradition now for us to watch the Narnia series at midnight. Unfortunately, Dean and I aren't as alert as our children in the AM, and he missed the whole Stone Table scene last time. We're hoping to stay awake for this one!
Monday, May 12, 2008
Heavy Hearts for the People of China
BEIJING (May 12) -- A massive earthquake struck central China on Monday, killing more than 8,533 people and trapping nearly 900 students under the rubble of their school, state media reported.The official Xinhua News Agency said 80 percent of the buildings had collapsed in Beichuan county in Sichuan province after the 7.8-magnitude quake, raising fears the overall death toll could increase sharply.Xinhua cited the Sichuan provincial government as saying 7,651 people died, but the situation in at least two counties remain unclear.
Beijing is some 900 miles away from the epicenter where this earthquake hit. LiLi is not near this area, but must have felt some tremors, as those in Pakistan and Thailand also felt effects from this earthquake.
Please pray that the teenagers trapped in their school get out safely.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Statistics
National Geographic's May 2008 issue is all about China. LiLi's hometown of Anshan, with all its pollution, is featured on page 63. According to the magazine, "China is expected to overtake the US as the world's largest economy in ten years." And with that comes the struggle: "China has the world's highest number of annual deaths triggered by air pollution."
Other statistics:
Percent of US shoes made in China: 72
Year by which China is expected to have more cars than the US does now: 2025
Number of McDonald's drive-throughs in China in 2005:1
Number expected by the end of 2008: 115
Painting Has Begun!
Yeah, I've started to paint LiLi's new room: a beautiful green Corinne picked out (Benjy Moore's fresh cut grass) and lavendar (Enchanted). I'm hoping she'll like them!
Monday, May 5, 2008
Saturday, May 3, 2008
143 MILLION ORPHANS IN THIS WORLD
Ten Ways Every Christian Can Care for the Orphan
- Plead with the Father for them. Pray as a family and a church. Remember that pesky little passage in James: Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.
- Speak up for them. Find a waiting child and pray for that child. www.adoptuskids.org
- Give them what they need. Support missions to orphanages. www.helporphans.org
- Support those who support them. Mow a foster parent's yard, or take them meals. Pray for a local child welfare social worker. My church family threw us a LiLi shower.
- Provide them a safe place. Become an emergency foster parent, build an orphanage. www.worldorphans.org. Check out the Dix's Lamb Center in the Philippines. www.sonnydix.com
- Go visit them. My friend Melanie regularly goes to serve in orphanages in Russia, connecting with the children there. Hard, yes, but glorious!
- Give sacrificially to them. www.shaohannahshope.com, www.carolinespromise4u.org.
- Cheer them on. Sponsor a child. www.compassion.com, www.holtintl.org
- Give them a forever family. There are many adoption agencies. Ours is at www.awaa.org.
- Mobilize your church for them. www.hopefororphans.com
Friday, May 2, 2008
Twenty Days
Dean, Dylan, Corinne and I leave for China May 22nd!
In typical Kennedy fashion, we are nesting in major ways, except Dean and I were a lot younger when we last nested. We're painting LiLi's new room and painting Corinne's room. Dean is installing a large patio of pavers. (Dylan and his friend Preston are helping out, thankfully.)
Twenty days and I have 25 things on my LiLi list. Will I get them done and plant spring flowers too? Stay tuned......
